So another weekend has been conquered by the slow-marching army of time, *sigh* and yet, despite the fact that the year is moving fast, we seem to have left the weather far behind us.
Now I know.... that it's pretty out-of-character for an Englishman to discuss the climatic conditions of his sovereign-soil, but what the hell, I haven't got much else to write about today, so here goes nothing.
It's April, right? I have several electronic gadgets which tell me this; My computer at work, my mobile-phone, Teletext, my phone at work etc, and my undying faith in these pieces of precision engineering means that I find it very difficult not to believe what they are telling me to be the correct date. And yet, every morning for the past 3-4 days I have been tentatively stepping out onto the street only to be confronted with air that is colder than Condoleeza Rice's inner thigh.
This morning... we had frost. Yep, frost. In April. For the love of God it is practically summer time, I shouldn't have to be wearing winter clothing every time I go out for a sly death-stick at work!Yesterday Afternoon... we had snow. Not just a quick flurry, but an hour-long blizzard, followed by a few hours of positively balmy spring-sunshine.And throughout all this, us minions of the Great Queen Lizzie are being told that there will be a hose-pipe ban this summer. Yes, apparently our reservoirs are at an all time low, and no, silly, it's got absolutely nothing to do with the fact that approx. 50% of the U.K's domestic/commercial water-supply flows through pipe-systems which are more than 50 years, oh no, it's because we're not getting enough rain any more.
So there you have it folks, the U.K is soon to be in a desperate strangle-hold of the worst drought for decades.
Therefore the following plea goes out to all my international friends... forget Ethiopia, forget Somalia, Bangladesh, and all the other third world countries resigned to the evil grip of drought & famine, instead I call upon your mercy as providers of aid. This summer, why not donate just $1-2 a week, yes you heard me right, as little as $1-2 a week to help people like Mr Kenneth Ponsonby-Smythe of Cretindon, Kent. Mr Ponsonby-Smythe had been a keen gardener for 35 years, and his flowers were always talk of the village fete, but then the winter rains failed to come and every new summer brought another hose-pipe ban. Soon, his precious brood of prize-winning Geraniums and Chrysanthemums began to shrivel and fade, until now, all he is left with now are empty flower-beds surrounding his 22 bedroom mansion in what used to be called "The Garden of England". So this summer, whilst you may be out enjoying the glorious weather, spare a thought for the thousands of gardeners across the U.K. Gardeners like Kenneth Ponsonby-Smythe who are unable to pour away gallons of water each year in a vain attempt to keep their precious lawns emerald green. So please donate just $1-2 a week of your money to help keep Britain Green.
Thank You.
I have added a new feature to the navigation bar on the right hand side. Someone at work sent me a cartoon a couple of times, so I linked the address and it is now a permanant fixture. The cartoon is called Cyanide & Happiness, it's very funny I assure you, and they seem to update it quite regularly so feel free to follow the link for a bit of daily mirth. Oh, and thanks to the people at Explosm.net for unwittingly letting me copy their link just to make my blog look good!
