Boxing Day, Infinity & Beyond....

Another year, another mammoth shift at the bar on Boxing Day. For those not familiar with the boxing day celebrations in Scarborough I will now attempt to describe to you exactly what goes on.

Bascially the whole entire town goes out on the lash at aboutt 11am, right through till the clubs close. Traditionally it was called Ladies day because (I Think) it was meant to be a celebration day for all the women of the town who, after a hard day slaving over the stove on Christmas Day, were allowed (!) a day to rest. In years past the men and women used to go out in big groups and were not meant to talk to each other, but this rule has since been passed over.
I don't particularly mind working on Boxing Day (This is my 4th year doing so) because i usually get double time (after a 12 hour shift, you do the math!) so it balances out the requiremnt to serve the biggest and widest variety of arses the planet has ever created.

Not much trouble this year though (which is probably a good thing as the bar I work in is very small so it wouldn't take much to turn it into a western-saloon style brawl) except the usual bunch of 'hilarious' comedians who spend all day going from pub-to-pub doing nice things like crimping one off in the urinal/toilet floor/friends hand. My only highlight was the argument i had with one idiot in particular who kept shouting at me to serve him. I told him to f*ck off because I was talking to an ex-colleague of mine at the time, and that i'd serve him in my own sweet time. After a brief, but comedy interchange he eventually conceeded and aplogised. Damn. Can I not have fun anymore?

Total Drinks Consumed at work:

Beer = Easily 12 bottles.
Spirits = Just a meagre 12 shots of JD & Coke (3 at-a-time in pint glass, honestly boos, it's just coke...)

Still, I didn't feel drunk at the end of the night so not bad eh?

after this I had every intention of going home to sleep like Rip Van Winkle, instead, I got talked into staying up until 6am by my very drunk Kiwi house mate, to watch the live Cricket between the Aussies and South Africa...

So here I am, it's Wednesday afternoon (Just) and i'm back at work again (Doing next to nothing). If anybody manages to discover where Christams went, and what exactly happenend to it, can they let me know please?!!


Adieu!

The run up to Christmas

Well, is everyone feeling good now that the festive season is finally (almost) over? I for one am. I've never been the biggest fan of Christmas (I warn you now this is gonna be the moany bit, I promise to lighten the mood shortly) but it seems to get worse and worse each year. This year I managed to shorten the length of time that i spent at home, instead I spent most of the Chritmas period at either of my two jobs. So here I am, back at work, and it really sucks, big-time that it all seems but a distant memory.....

Christmas Eve & Christmas Day: The Highlights.

Christams Eve started well enough, (despite the fact I was at the Building Society 9am-12) but far too early for my liking. My total level of productivity for my three hours at work can be broken down as thus:

1) Bucks Fizz (Glasses consumed) = 5.

2) Cakes / Biscuits / Snacks consumed = Far too many.

3) One game of Trivial Pusuits won (Nicely done considering my partner and colleague left early at 11, leaving me with the prospect of defeating the combined investment two, and Mortgage Services one on my own.)

4) Time spent actually working = 30 seconds to transfer the single call I received.

Following this mammoth work-effort I went home to lie on the sofa for as long as would be humanly possible before I went to the bar in the evening to work again. But, no, my peace could not remain unshattered as my boss asked if I could be in for 3. We haggled, and I went in at 4 and spent the rest of the day serving arseholes their Christmas Cheer. Bah-Humbug!

Christmas Day was better mind you. I picked Cameron up at about 10am so that he could spend some time at mine opening his presents. I'm not sure if he knew what was going on, but he must have realised something special was going down, despite the fact that it was his first Christmas. After I opened all his pressies for him, however, he proceeded to take great interest in the watch I am currently wearing (Bit of a story to this, all my watches are either broken, or have flat batteries, can't be arsed to sort them out so recently I started to wear one of the "dead" ones as a kind of Useless Accessory). In fact he got so engrossed with ti that he didn't want to play with his toys, he just wanted to smash my watch against some of the things i'd bought him!

After this I went to the local pub to meet some friends for a few cheeky wetners, before returning home ready to give the Kiwi-elements of my household a damn good thrashing on Brian Lara cricket. Day over.

Total Alcohol Consumed by end of night:
Wine = 1 Bottle
Champagne = 1 Bottle
Beer = Appx 5 pints
A few cheeky JD & Cokes too.

The Infamous Christmas Party

So, Friday was our staff do from work. Cue oodles of drunken debauchery, and a whole night spent trying, oh-so-hard not to tell the execs what you really think of them...
The evening started pretty much as last years did. About 20 of the guys from work, including me, went to my colleagues house at about six for pre-party drinks. When i say pre-party drinks I mean that we had to work our way through a 6-litre container of our wicked crimbo-punch, which considering the fact that it contained about 4 litres of alcohol, was no mean feat.

Needless to say we were all quite merry by the time we set off for the hotel where our party was based (this occured only 1 hour after we started at my friends house!).
Stopped for a quick snifter in the bar round the corner from the Royal Hotel, none of us wanted to arrive until the food was served, damnit!

The Juicy Bit...

So I was wasted. Yep, completly mortalled from god-knows-when onwards. The party really got into full swing about half way through the meal, when my work mate Andy decided to see just how many party hats he could "wear" on his head / face. Personally i don't think that 18 is a bad attempt....
Following this I spent most of the night wearing a comedy Moustache which was in the cracker, unfortunately I have now seen some of the pictures of myself and considering i was wearing a suit, I looked like a young Hitler at the annual National Socialist Party Christmas bash.
By Nine P.M the casualty list was a s follows:

1) One of the, er, larger Female member's of staff had already flashed her arse, boobs and front bum. Classy lady, eh?

2) One member of senior staff (married) seen disappearing with an ugly admin girl.

3) My mate quinny (for first time in history being allowed out without his wife) sat on sofa surrounded by several lasses looking like a cheap Hugh Hefner.

4) My large cigar, broken into three pieces and completly un-smokable. (I did make several attempts to smoke it anyway..!)

5) Dessert. Everyone missed it because we were too busy getting drunk and smoking cigs by the bar.

Pretty much everything was a blur after this. I took a spare change of clothes to go out in, and at about eleven I decided to change inro said outfit. Five minutes later I was back in my suit because I realised that I rather liked it! Cue many a strange look from people who saw me in both attire!

AND FOR THOSE WHO THOUGHT I'D END UP WITH SOME BUNNY-BOILING PSYCHO-WOMAN...

I didn't, so there. *Rasp*

Late nights and Mate's fights...

Wow, what a quality weekend! After getting up early on Saturday (Not a problem because I had Cameron anyway) I began to watch England V Pakistan in the first one-dayer. What a cracking match it was too! In fact it made me completly forget about the events of the night before which left me in an awful mood.

THE NIGHT BEFORE....

Got home with Cameron and at about 7 i went to pick up my wages form the bar as usual, before popping to the shops for some bits & Bobs, but mainly for electric. Our house is on a meter you see and you need to put money on a little blue key every week. Now this particular night we had a few problems. I thought that the 30p left was of normal credit, but apparently it had already gone over to the emergency fund, so the £5 I put on got swallowed leaving us with 30p of electric (still there? Bear with me, for I know this tale is a tad boring) and meant that we couldn't rely on the emergency fund this time. Got home, fed and bed Cammy before ordering a pizza which finally arrived at about half ten. I'd managed to get half way through this, and started watching the episode of Lost which i'fd taped when 'Click' all the lights, the TV et al turned off. Which left me in the pitch darkness with a bolognase pizza that i couldn't see, and no entertainment so I ended up just going to bed early. (This was after my house-mate Brett came home from work before going out on a mad, midnight mission to find electric, needless to say he had no joy!)

SATURDAY...

Saturday afternoon was mint after Cameron had gone (Woah, calm down there, it wasn't BECAUSE he had gone, i'll explain if you let me..) because i spent three hours watching Soccer AM which i'd taped (yet more joy for the Sky owner, Soccer AM rocks) before going to work.
Work was heaving because all the mutants from the local factories were on staff nights out before Christmas. Great. Bar opens 7pm, I stroll in at 7.30pm, by ten-to-eight the bar is packed out with all the dregs of Scarborough's Society. Strangely though, no Burberry in sight for a change....

Decided to go out after work, met my three mates and went to "Red Square" and we promptly wasted £7 between us on the Pepsi chart quiz. (WE gambled on Rap/Hip-Hop for three points, hoping that my expertise might come into play, little did we know that Pepsi consider DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince of Bell Air as Rap and/or Hip-Hop, well can YOU name 6 records that they released, I think not.)

After this brief forray into semi-pro gambling we made our way to the club, Studio One, initial signs looked poor as when we entered the club they were playing Destiny's Child. It's supposed to be Indie night for Christs-sake! (This changed shortly after our arrival, probably due to the 300 requests that we lumbered my mate Bex, the Dj, with.)

So, Brief overview of night:

- All my mates were wasted except Mark, very rare that indeed, he's usually incoherrant by 10!
- My friend Shaun got all morbid in his drunkness, complained he couldn't pull (even though he's very good-looking in my no-I-am-not-gay opinion)
- Ended up staying in the club till 4am trying to stop Shaun abusing pretty much everyone.
- Got conned into buying a drink for a lass at work (No, NOT one of THOSE lasses) who promptly placed an extra order for her friend, which i had to pay for as well! Cheeky Mare!
- Left the club shortly before Shaun abused the WRONG person, who then proceeded to swing for him in drunken comedy fashion, wish i'd not missed that, ha ha!

Ah well, you're only young once, eh?